Trees
by lolbeawesome
Summary: Broken hopes and dreams, that's all that's left of Clary and Jace. Oneshot.


**Hello, lovelies :) A little oneshot I wrote. I know, I know, I need to update Familiar Stranger ASAP, and believe me it's in the works. I've just been lacking reason to write (with the shooting and all). Anyways, a very merry holidays to all of you! **

Trees

I slam the door of our house, ignoring the yelling and shattering of something probably meaningful that answers me. Walking briskly, I am venting inside about it all: the fights, our barely working marrige- everything that's gone sour in the last year. I'm not really sure what happened, but I hate it, and suddenly I'm running away from it all, faster and faster. The snow is coming down from the sky- tiny white flakes dancing as they come down to Earth. I'm not sure why they are dancing because there is nothing really good left in this reality for me. If things weren't like this, maybe I would have danced with the snowflakes, and maybe even stuck out my tounge, laughing. Maybe Jace would have done it with me, and wrapped his strong arms around me, surrounding me with warmth as I shivered. But things aren't like that. At least anymore.

I am stumbling suddenly on a patch of ice on an unfamiliar path that looks as if nothing has trod on it in ages. And I'm reminded of myself- forgotten and unfamiliar to everybody, including myself. Looking up, I see treetops with tangled braches, each tree bearing no more than a couple leaves. The leaves are dark and they flutter a bit in the wind, so from where I'm at they look like dark stars or broken dreams.

I wonder what other's broken dreams are. Are they all really broken- splintered and sliced through, or is there still hope?

I feel the cold, heavy metal gun in my pocket weighing me down as my gaze lowers. The trees are like people, and first I see Jace- tall, sturdy, and somehow managing to hold on to the golden color of his leaves. Next, I see Isabelle- a graceful, skinny willow whose beauty makes me feel like an ugly, short monster. And then I spot myself- a short pine, swaying with the wind, giving in all the time. But still, it's different, holding onto its needles with pride- there are no broken dreams on this tree. I feel my eyes glaze with tears as I start to cry because this tree is the old me. I spot who I am now- a tiny, new pine broken in half by giving in too much to the wind, and filled with broken dreams. Short, ugly, and broken but I can see the beauty in it. I guess Jace can, too, because he chose me out of all the beautiful girls confident enough to wear practically nothing and manage to make it both classy and attractive.

But now, he is just a tall man with a short wife who can never seem to agree with him. My breath catches as I take the gun out of my pocket, the metal coolness and the possibilities of what cruel things it could do making me shiver. As I place the barrel in my mouth, I whisper, "Goodbye, Jace," and turn to wave goodbye to the sunset.

And then I realize I can't do this. The golden sunset- golden like Jace, beckons me with a finger and I drop the gun in my pocket, obeying. It leads me to the path home, and as I walk through my neighborhood slowly, I look at the Christmas lights- joyous and colorful. I feel resentment build in me- because I want my life to be like the outside of my decorated house again. I always loved Christmas... But not this year. I'm starting to wonder what exactly went wrong so quickly that Jace is looking into a divorce (even though he hasn't told me this).

Memories start to come back: the first time we kissed, the way he proposed- the only time I've ever seen him nervous, our wedding day, us finding out I was pregnant, and the grieving we did once we found out our baby was stillborn. I want to live a lifetime in those years because even when I didn't have anything else, I had Jace, and everything was okay. Now, I don't have anything except for my art, but even with the importance it has to me, doesn't hold a candle to Jace.

I kick a piece of salt around, probably left there by a truck anticipating a lot of snow. I realize the snow is coming down faster now, and that I'm shivering and covered in snow. Picking up the piece of salt, for a moment I want to be this inanimate object- no feelings, only a purpose: to melt snow.

A leaf falls from a nearby tree: a broken dream, come to Earth because either it's dead now, or it has a chance to come true; I'm not exactly sure. But either way, I pick up the leaf. I'll hold on to it as long as I need to- I'll safekeep this dream until the person it belongs to wants it back. Maybe it's my dream, a sign from the heavens. My phone vibrates, and I look at my phone, eyes widening as I read the text.

Jace. It doesn't say much, only that it's getting dark and he can pick me up wherever I am, but it's enough. It's not signed, "Love, Jace," or anything how he used to sign texts, but that's okay. I hear somebody say, "Clary!" As I look around, though, I see nobody, nobody at all. I am completely and utterly alone. So I start to run even faster towards home on a crazy sort of whim, adrenaline powering me on. I get to our door and open it.

Exhaling as I walk in, I put away my coat. The heaviness of the gun, of the deed I almost did is gone with the coat. Nothing from Jace- not even the slightest reaction. He doesn't even look over my way. I can't take this anymore- any of it.

I walk slowly, cautiously towards him- still no reaction. And then, suddenly I press my lips against his- which I've done a million times before, but never quite like this. He's surprised, stiff at first but gradually warming up, and finally, finally we are on the same page- even if it's only for thirty seconds. I feel my eyes fill up with tears, and words coming out too fast, stumbling as I say them. " I miss you, Jace. I miss us." He nods once.

"I miss you too, Clary. God, I miss you so much."

And after that, I know we wilk be okay- it will work out eventually. We'll make sure it works. It won't be today, or tomorrow, or even the day after. But I'm okay with that- because I love him. It's nice to know I'm not all alone anymore.

I open the door and take the leaf out of my pocket. Taking a deep breath, I release it, watching as it rides on a gust of wind. That dream? It was mine. And now, it's free to fly and soar- I know it will come true.


End file.
